After a semester of attending ALED classes and B-Hud meetings, I think I may have learned a few things about groups. In a group of more than 3-4 people, it’s easy to lose focus, there is a lot of wasted time, and progress is often slow. It can also be hard to compromise to accommodate for ten different wants. I can see where the Relational Leadership Model (RLM) comes into play. It must take a special person to keep a large group on track (purpose/process), make every person feel important (empowering), and make everyone happy (inclusive).
Leaders are like superheros. They aren’t some made up fictional character. They are real people. They are the ones who make a difference in whatever way they can, no matter how small. Something as small as influencing someone’s life, or standing up for justice, or maybe something as big as leading a nation.
You can’t expect others to change without the perfect role model. Therefore you must mold yourself into the perfect role model using Bennis’ 4 lessons for self development:
- You are your own best teacher
- Accept responsibility - blame no one
- You can learn anything you want to learn
- True understanding comes from reflection on your experiences
Use yourself as an example for the rest of the world. Change starts with the individual.
You can look to the past to learn things and gain insight, but history doesn’t repeat itself.
Always look to the future (never look back). Like Steve Jobs would say: “Innovation!”
As a “leader” accountability has always been an important aspect to me. What gives you the right to skip when I had to show up (especially if you want to call yourself a leader)? If we’re a team, then shouldn’t we all be pulling our own weight? If you want to be a leader, you should be putting in the most effort, not the least. How can you be an effective leader if no one can depend on you?
Accountability starts with the little things, like showing up to meetings, and not only showing up, but also showing up on time, because if you can’t be trusted with the little things, how can be trusted with the bigger things? If you are considered a flake, then anything that you say is not said with conviction but doubt.
—> Leaders are champions.
Their desire, dream, and vision inspire them to take action and make a change. This initial spark drives them to accomplish their goals.
Tony Dungy. Now he is a real swell guy. He really struck a chord with me. He is what I call a leader.
After learning about him in class, I don’t deserve to be called a leader. What I think that being captain of my high school swim team makes me a leader? Well it doesn’t. I’m barely a freshman in college! This man is a leader after a lifetime of accomplishments and character, while I am still developing my character and years ahead of me to make a difference that can prove that I am a leader. I’m more like a leader-in-training.
I think this is an important mind set for leaders. A leader needs to be able to see the bigger picture.
Not: How is this benefiting me? But: How is this benefiting others? How am I affecting this individual’s life? This would be a good way to screen yourself as a toxic leader. This should be the one time that you care what others think of you.
In this day, we are often told to be different, to be ourselves, that it doesn’t matter what others think. We are told it is a good to be unique.
I used to think that leaders did their own thing despite what others thought because leaders do what is right (ethical). But a person who does the right thing is defined as a leader because a majority dubs those qualities as a leader. And we define leadership based on the connotation of the word. I mean if a leader were completely one-of-a-kind then he would have no followers. Can a leader lead without followers? So to be called a leader we have to be cautious of what others think, and we have to fit into their mind set of what a leader is?
So I know to be a good leader, you have to understand and accept others (multiculturalism – empowering/inclusive). But you can’t force someone else to do the same, so how can you help that person to view others in a different light as well? You can’t have an empowering environment if you have a venomous snake biting others. But you also wouldn’t be including everyone if you kicked this person out of the group. Does this become an ethical dilemma, choosing between wronging one person or wronging the entire group? Or is it something you have to work through and find a different solution for, where your power of innovation comes into play?
This is the kind of leader I want to be.
Gandhi was a great leader. He lead hundreds of people, and he changed the world. But not all leaders work on such a grand scale. I think if I can impact at least one person, then I have succeeded.
A leader is different things to different people. Every relationship is different, therefore the way you lead each person is different. Some need love and patience, others harsh encouragement. Some need a lot of help, while others prefer a partner. Whatever it may be, a good leader can do it all.
Attitude is part of the second step in becoming a leader - being.
A leader should be “the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.” Even when a leader is being realistic, he should be hopeful and encouraging. A leader should inspire you to achieve your best. With a happy attitude, followers can feed off of the positive energy. An enthusiastic leader can make his followers feel special, moving forward, and purposeful. A positive attitude helps everyone to reach the goal.
Are you a nerd? Are you a conservative? Are you a party animal? Are you a leader? Are you a follower?
The first step in being a leader is knowledge and understanding - knowing. Most importantly, you need to know yourself. As a leader you needs to discover your morals first. Next, what kind of leader are you going to be? Encouraging? Tough love? Goal oriented? People oriented? A mixture of everything? Then, you need to learn your limits. All of this self reflection will lead to personal growth and make you a better leader.
